Nikki Haley declines to say Nazis were a cause of World War II

Republican presidential candidate says the war was waged over whether liberals or conservatives should control government.

Before making her eyebrow-raising remark about World War II, the former governor of South Carolina had a week earlier demonstrated her deep knowledge of history by omitting any reference to slavery when asked what the cause of the Civil War had been.

Haley’s omission of slavery as a cause of the Civil War elicited wildly enthusiastic praise from Americans who lament the “Lost Cause” of their cherished slavery-based—oops, I mean conservative-based, excuse me—Confederacy. There was so much praise from these quarters that the presidential candidate told this reporter last week, “Hey, I’m on a roll with this history stuff, so let me try it with World War II also.”

And sure enough! This week Haley declined to mention the Nazis in connection with WWII. Neo-Nazis now LOVE Haley. They love her for leading the way to a general normalization of the heretofore much-maligned conservative party that ruled Germany back then.

Of course there are annoying so-called history buffs who take issue with the rising star presidential candidate’s take on history. They write articles with titles such as “What Were the Main Reasons for the Civil War?” and “The Confederate States Were Opposed to States Rights” and “MOST SOUTHERN WHITES HATED THE CONFEDERACY” and “The ‘Good War’ Myth of World War II.”

When asked her opinion of these history buffs, Haley told this reporter today, “The people who support me don’t read garbage like that, and so neither do I.”

When asked who are her supporters, the presidential candidate replied, “My conservative supporters are the good kind of people, the kind that during the Civil War valued the good kind of government that was the Confederacy, and they’re the kind of people that valued the conservative German government during World War II. My kind of people are not the riff raff; they’re not the losers of society; they’re not the ones who always complain about economic inequality and all that nonsense. My kind of people know how to make money—lots of it!—and they know how to hold onto it. They’re smart people, not idiots like most people.”

As Haley departed from this reporter she cast a glance back and added, “And my kind of people know that the problem in our society today is the kind of people who read shit like THIS!” as she threw at me a leaflet somebody had handed her titled, “Revolutionary Movement Building 101.”