A Modest Proposal to Dear Harvard University for Dealing With the Pro-Palestine Threat from Within

This proposal will completely solve the problem of pro-Palestine demonstrators disrupting the university's sacred mission

must replace

That’ll solve the problem!

In light of the disturbing events reported in the Boston Globe article displayed below, I offer a modest proposal to my (graduate school) alma mater, a proposal that is for Harvard University to do the only thing that will enable the university to function smoothly in the manner that its trustees and wonderful major donors desire.

My modest proposal:

Harvard must immediately ban from the campus anybody who opposes genocide.

This includes faculty as well as students and staff employees. Harvard must not admit students who oppose genocide, nor hire faculty who oppose genocide, nor employ staff who oppose genocide.

When—and only when!—this modest proposal is implemented then Harvard University will finally be able to operate smoothly as its trustees and wonderful major donors desire.

This modest proposal is simple and elegant, and completely solves Harvard’s ongoing #1 problem. It is a no-brainer!

This modest proposal’s implementation can begin with an announcement by the university that henceforth no student will be accepted, nor faculty hired, nor staff employed unless that person signs a document affirming that they do not object to genocide and that they agree Harvard has the right to expel or fire them immediately if they express any opposition to genocide.

Harvard should employ its best pro-genocide law professors—and of course its famous emeritus professor Alan Dershowitz—to work out how to go about firing/expelling all people currently enrolled or hired by Harvard who oppose genocide. It may take some time to accomplish these expulsions/firings, but it must be done as quickly as legally possible.

Probably it would be helpful if Harvard made some small changes in its iconography too. Harvard should change its motto from Veritas (which nobody ever took seriously, anyway) to Genocidia [Latin for genocide] and change its flags (etc.) to include this word to make the chief value of the university known to the general public.

But wouldn’t this modest proposal be a violation of freedom of speech?

Of course it would! But so what? As I have written at length—in “The ‘Right to Free Speech’ Is a Bogus Concept” and “You Say You Support Freedom of Speech But Do You Really?”—in a time of war it is foolish to allow the enemy to do anything to prevail and this includes using speech. And we are indeed in a time of war—the class war. On one side is the class represented by Harvard’s big and wonderful major donors—people who defend civilization and the good things that only the very wealthy fully appreciate, against the mob, the riff-raff, the hoi poloi, the great unwashed, the have-nots of the world who want to destroy civilization as we know it.

The Israeli government (as I show in detail here and here and here) is fighting for what is sacred; it is fighting on the side of the angels, on the side of Harvard’s wonderful big donors against the deplorable have-nots who want to destroy civilization. Genocide is a good and necessary thing to preserve civilization, as I show here. This is why, of course, the have-nots of the world condemn genocide; it is the way they try to destroy our sacred civilization. Harvard must therefore make its core mission defending genocide.

Speech in opposition to genocide MUST BE DENIED if we want to preserve civilization. And we do want to preserve civilization. That is what Harvard is all about.

What will happen if this modest proposal is not implemented?

If this modest proposal is not implemented, then anti-genocide students and faculty and staff will continue to disrupt the proper smooth functioning of the university. They will demand that the university divest from Israel—the Horror! the Horror! Next they will demand that the university teach what they call “the truth” about the class war. They will demand that the university take the wrong side, the side of the have-nots, in that war. They will force their way by threatening more disruption until they get what they want. This is the sickening prospect that awaits the university if this modest proposal is not implemented.

There is no choice. This modest proposal is required to save the university and its sacred mission from the mob.